Inutility
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Noted contributor Col. Stoehr retorts to cheeky jpt quip at end of his story (see June '07 issue, Potsdam and Sebeka).
To partially answer part of the question, Nimrod is about 10 miles due east of Sebeka on Highway 227. While the Redeye River runs through Sebeka, the Crow Wing flows through Nimrod. And while Sebeka is by far the larger town, the Crow Wing is the superior river; it is into the Crow Wing that the Redeye flows to continue its journey on to the Mississippi and the Gulf of Mexico. Nimrod is known mainly for Stigman's mound, named to honor Dick Stigman, a local baseball pitcher and graduate of Sebeka High School, same as was the late lamented Ernie. Stigman's mother was the long-time postmaster at NImrod and Dick had a career in the major leagues, pitching for a time for the Minnesota Twins. Stigman ultimately married, quit baseball and earned a living manufacturing and selling three-ring binders in Minneapolis.
Does that satisfy your curiousity about Nimrod?
--Harlan
Dear Col. Harlan,
You de man.
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The humans dig Potsdam
Dear Editor,
I heartily enjoyed Potsdam and Sebeka [see link above] by Harlan Stoehr. It was very entertaining and had me laughing even though my plight is dismal. Thank you for the levity!
--Lady A
Yours echoes the responses of goodtiming plight-sufferers too numerous to let see the light of day here in these pages. Generally, we eschew wallowing in admiration, making only the occasional exception for certain worldbeaters like The Colonel. Most of us (our contributors) will have to make do with assuming that our work in jpt is splendid and is received as such by Joe & Jolene Q. Public. Mind you, we do not discourage your natural expressions of fandom alongside any bits of outrage or melancholy musing via email; we only mean to say that we won't turn this into a backslapping fest, as we must keep the scene moving right along there. In any event, thank you, Lady A. It might help with the plight if you are able to get out and flip some real estate.
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That said, haps we can squeeze in another well-chosen word or two
Hail@provincialthought.com,
Loved it. [June '07, Issue 2.] Must see if I can retrieve [April '07, Issue 1].
Particularly loved your: editorial board; the blues lyric; Clipping Hedge II; Pigasus; the Vonnegut eulogy.
. . .Your yellow font is unreadable, as is your black on dark khaki, and some type sizes are microscopic. Most of your readers are surely in the incipient-cataract/maculapenic/just-plain-tired age group, n'est pas? Take pity!
--Your Intensive Do-Gooder
Thank you; thank you; thank you; thank you; thank you; ouch; ooch; eech! We have now veered from yellow fontiage, especially as played up against yellow backgrounds. Dark Khaki? Nobody been using no dark khaki here. But we're making our best guess for optimum compatibility, all part of our deal-ya-in approach to playing publisher-neighbor. Small type is now being fed corn except for some small type that doesn't care if it makes the team or not. A set of those hoot-owl spectacles might root it out where it cowers in galling smallness, as they are handy dandies for such readership as you posit. YOU SEE, FRIENDS, INTENSIVE HAS OBLIGINGLY RETURNED USEFUL INFORMATION, AS WE ASK ALL OF YOU TO DO. Don't just smirk at our glitches & globs. Drop us a note so we can fine tune this extraordinary site to look right on your substandard systems if such be possible.
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Subject: Anatnom, Llepsilak
Ladies and Gentlemen:
Sir Charles Smith may seem to be a normal human being, but I know for a fact that just beneath the terrestrial dermis wriggles an extraterrestrial encased in spongiform mycelium (to fill the interstices). Should you encounter him while brewing beer, avoid eye contact, speak as though his mutterings are coherent, back slowly to the nearest exit and perhaps you will not be harmed.
--Otz
P.S. Where is that brilliant artist who used to illustrate Wine and Seizures? Hint: reverse subject line.
W.C. Smith's spokesperson answers on his behalf: Otz, old poker! Long time! Lords & Ladies, this is Otz you have onscreen before you! Otz is an old poker who did, indeed, used to illustrate stories in The Book of Wine & Seizures, some quarter-century ago, for the thrills in't. Grotesque, some folks called both sketch & text-- wry-faced fretters who missed all the revelry at our multitudinously-attended robes-and-ale reading exhibitions (because maybe they weren't told about them). Oh, you had to watch that the proud Otz didn't secrete some almost subliminal libertine inappropriata among the strokes of his mastersketchy. Say, Otz, whatabout we run a few of those fine artia herein for the nice readers? A bit jealous, are we, that there's a terrific new illustrator parking his Crocs under the Wine & Seizures drawing board? --Otz taught me canoeing deep in pristine wilderness and broke me from hurling garbage out car windows. For this latter alone the land and her peoples owe him. Welcome, old friend. Let us swap medical complaints, rue destinies, get ourselves new clues, don the halcyon glow of eld and reclaim our world, eh?
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Cross your legs and hold it till we get there; the book isn't OUT yet!
Dear jpt,
This eclectic gamut of wonders delivered by real professionals-- free of charge! -- commends The Journal of Provincial Thought to my sanctum of pleasures. It's akin to free ice cream (with nuts). You should publish monthly. Far too long between scoops.
I was left in the lurch by Mr. Quick's fascinating Cowboys & Aliens [June '07, Issue 2]. Having read slowly, as one savors a fudge sundae, rapt in Mr. Quick's conversance with B movie antiquity and culture, I was startled if not stunned when, at the peak of my screaming hunger to know who had planted the explosive and knocked the protagonist unconscious, the words ran out. The excerpt abruptly ended, the illusion melted on my spoon and there I sat. I tell you this, had I tears, I had cried them then. Normally, even an excerpt ties up a few loose ends! Will you be continuing the story?
--Benjamin H
The deal is this, Benjamin. jpt is not a business. It is a humanitarian outreach-- a ministry, even-- or think of it as manna-- to people who cannot or will not pay for educational entertainment. Happily, numerous accomplished thinkers and doers who are no longer pressed to the scramble for daily bread enjoy participating as free contributors in the community of mind and spirit. We are humbly appreciative of the sharing by these and by transgenre doyen Willis Quick, probably the best (and possibly last) of his breed. Exult in his largesse, and where it ends, let it go. We don't know if Willis means to favor us with more of the "Cowboys" tale. We are told that a legal wrangle with his publisher has Murder for a Distant Stranger on hold at present. Keep y' fangers & eyes crossed.
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Gents of the jpt,
On one hand, you poke fun at Louie-on-the-Left, but on the other you publish his messages as if you support his pov. Who's cool and who's the fool? P.S. The cartoons are a hoot, especially Rust Limberger.
--James
Everybody here is outta sight ~ Everybody plays the fool sometime. // At jpt, as elsewhere, there are those who cheer Louie on and those who would see him pay for his (alleged) crimes. At the least he is a Person Of Interest. We are a journal of provincial thought, not a political action committee. (Some in charge here would have it otherwise but kindly forbear forcing it.) If you know a Rory-on-the-Right whose rants you would submit with permission, by all means do so and assess the handling they receive in these same jpt houses of jive funk.
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Dear Journal of P. Thought,
I get a kick out of the quickie stuff like "Hex Libris" ("Klassick Books" etc.), with titles that are LOL funny to tastefully weird. I've thought of a few titles your readers might enjoy. Do you consider submissions like this?
--E. M.
Like this and like everything else. Submit away, providing you're the creator or The Creator. See our Contributor Guideline/ Submission Guidelines. If our formatting specs are too detailed for you, just try submitting your document anyway, and we'll let you know if there's a problem. See Accost Us for appropriate jpt email address.
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Satanists? Babyeaters?! C'mon, ye sentients!
Might've known, numerous viewers expressed horror and dismay about a statement in the Issue 2 (June '07) introduction of Louie-on-the-Left that there are Satanists and babyeaters toiling alongside their moral and epicurean opposites here in jpt Towers. Even if not true, said some, the incident raises serious questions of judgment. Sirs & Madames, of course there are and have been no known or suspected Satanists or babyeaters associated with this august publication/e-rag. The crafter of that bit was engaging in the practice of editorial lying to make a point. Because his or her lie was so egregious as to be spotted, he or she has been quietly hanged by our in-house executioner and replaced at the desk. Now, then. All lovie-dovie once moa?
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in south-central Kentucky, possibly the flight path of the annual migration
of Pigasus Peregrinatus from Hudson's Bay to Patagonia. The little chap
is resting his undersized wings at this stage of the arduous pilgrimage and
wears a slightly pettish expression. We welcome other documentary evi-
dence of pigasus sightings from our viewers. Please include time, date and
place with your submissions, as well as your right name and credentials.
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