Inutility
For the King were high vext with the constant presence of the distresst & loathsome chicken merchants, and with their banal tumult & rolling fights on the yard. The King, he were ready for a soulful season of majestic lonliness, and freedem to enter his trances unseen & unjeerd, as his time of lunacy (lu-nah-chee) was upon him. Had I knain the nature of the chikkinfolk, saith Cutzamullich, then this my court had ne’er seen their like. They have made me to hate my hen-&-dumpflin dinner feast, and mine oil-boild bird-wid’-eggs.
So then rode out the Kingsmen on their studs & nags, dragging behind them ramps & clamps & lifts & ladders, aseeking the twoscore eight four three four locutus. But alas, ’twere neither to be found as prescriben, for that some egregius error hath infested the crashsite locution & reportage (raper-tahzh) given unto Cutzamulliche. Yea, that site locutien & reportage were conductnd by the stupid green sons of a prideturgid Kingsmeasureman, who had bade them sally out upon this missien and master the trade in a day, thus to manifest them selfs before the King as prodigies, and tap into accolades. And tho no such argot as twoscore eight four three four did
9
pertain in the locatien industrie, being contriv-ed of desperasien by the sons, ne’ertheless did the King receive it with his famus air of knowledge, as if an he knewn it well, and he invested his horsemen with its incorrectien. And now, lo, the flunk ensual.
And the Kingsmen rode alongst the wall in great confusien, seeing only grass and bones and asseater ants as they went. And some Kingsmen took their own lifes in failuresense, and others took the lifes of those nearby; and some who were misst by this in-rank thinning gat taken down by chance strike of sacramental arrowsticks shot up by churls worshipping beyond the wall.
And Captain Drinkus of the Horses said neath creast brow, Yea, happy horseman have I ever been, laffing my way through brouha & battel pitcht, and spumes of gut & brainspray; but here among my pieceseeking coterie is carnage enow to alter mine ego. And the Captain took his quill & scroll, and commenst to write some perceptiens for a fine writing along this line, knowing not that e’en now his arrowstick was on its way, soaring up from the commemorativ holy bow toy of a malodorous churl urchin who knoweth nought of religien, but taketh excitoment in shooting.
And when that the Kingsmen were happent upon the shatterd god of poultryotics, and had cat their way with the sword through the throng of the grieving thereabout (grievers, for there is some pain in beholding one’s god burstnd upon the ground), they seen that mosten the good pieces were looted away, surely taken & sold, at absolute profit, unto piece worshippers. And neither could all the King’s horsemen restore again Oomtay-Doomtay unto regularity. Breacht in full was the sublime ovoid, wreck that superbolic curvulo. Sure, spackt together in some fashien might he be, but he wud be forever off the egg.
Hapless restorers: such a monstor of chipfs they gummd together! Seeing the junque of their labours rocking before them as a glom conglumerasien of shards, they straightway rammd him down again, and pummeld him right to dust; for they had humen dignity, and it was challengd by this work. And darkness fell across the godless chicken bizniss, and odious whammies, such as a transient curse which caus-ed chickens to be bizarre.
Then out blew there out a savage decree out from outen the Throne of Cutzamullich, that the false sculpitor Varostril, and the wind, and the King’s own men with their braying horses, and the chickeneers, shud all be taped together and sunk in the quick sand of Guzpaht, where Sweet Lea the Intimate were sunk when that she braken the King’s heart. But the taping & sinking were ultimot forestalld, be cause that Varostril hath been sanding his clay mixes to abate expense, and hath excavated away all the quick sand from outen Guzpaht, and all the slow sand, and use-ed it up. (And there in the hole lay Lea, delicate Intimator, and fine & bright of bone.)
Copyright 2007 wcsmith All Rights reserved
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| 1. The Sculptor in Notorius Profile: Days of Youth--pages 1-3 |
| 2. The Sculptor in Notorius Profile: Days of Season---pages 3-4 |
| 3. Bane of the Pottie---pages 4-5 |
| 4. The Right-Playd Bizniss Roareth Up from Scandol like as the Challengd Lion-pp 5-7 |
| 5. He Sculpteth the Tragicol Figure Most Famed for Falling---pages 7-8 |
| *UR HERE > 6. All the King's Horsemen Pitted Against Breakage's Chaoss ---- pages-8-9 |
| 7. Some Specifical Fates Reveald---pages 10-11 |
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