The Journal of Provincial Thought
from The Book of Wine & Seizures: Book #16
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copyright 1978-2007 w c smith
illustrated by w schafer
fabulation concerning the god of poultry products
Obscurity Inutility

           Now of clay divinidies, this idol Karbongg were neither the first from the hand of the Sculptre Varostril to come flinking aparts in the face of its idolators, having been pitcht together in wanton haste & of the inferiest of lowdown clay, in sacriligis scorn of customary sobrieties & the foofaraw of Idolatry, and utmo disregard of the idolators’ sensibilities.  Yea, Varostril hath turnd from his early innosent sculptural perfectity to become a  profitglommer, winning his holy commissiens by payolum gratia and riggin’-o’-th’-bid, exulting in high lucre, and chocking the jaws of hell with gold shims as a delusory staver-off against their closing upon him in his thirty flavors of iniquity.  But who may stave the jowls of hell with shims?

            Varostril the youth walkt he the righteous walk, ere he had contracted of the coldth & ugle conceiv-ed by the world inside grewn men, that coldest coldth & ugliest ugle which the Devil breweth in his gents.  As the youth, sockt he a passel of integridy into his sculptings, thinking as he did that living were joy, that friends & respectors & witty observers wud with him eternal and ne’er go adrifting nor succumbing to the persnol woes that accrue.  Friends & respecters drawd in by the massive gravidy of my delightfulness, thoght he, Will vital endure, without apoplexy, in a block of solid spirit & running conversasien.  So thoght the budding sculptor Varostril, in those days of youth and easy accounting.  For the generatian of Varostrol seem-ed unto him the first true advance, hot aglow with the knack of being; and about these young movers the world seem-ed to campf.  Ta.  Thou & I hap remembre when so it also seemd to us; and now we are ridiculis.

            In that day of his temerarious youngblood—for he then were reckless at sociedy, while never at sculptry—campaign-ed he against imperfexien wheresoe’er he fount it, trusting him self as a standard, leaving his image as Man Ideal in the minds of maids, castigating out the lofty airs & poses of venal veteran sculptors, donning the mantol of sculptiste exemplar, and making of him self an canker on the establisht order.  And he messt in state affair, assaulting budgets and concocting schemes of accountibility that reacht & punctured some secret fiscol tradisiens o’er at His Lordishipf’s Siphonry of Revenues.  And he went before the masses, speaking in cosmic

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metafer, and coming out in song against the war in Heavan & the treatment of its prisners.  And he adornt him self in beads and went rousing fervor at candld vigils for all the Guvner’s jettisond jesters who had steppt o’er the line and gone to jail:  for once or more, every jester hath lean-ed into brazen truths in his monologgy, and hath crankt out prickly skits of hell-in-office, portraying in feignd hilarity grotesk & helly facts that maken the Guvner to seem grotesk & helly.  (There then in stir hath their goofe all sour-ed to pus-ichor, and their perfessionel smirk of cynicol genius to the frozen gasp of rat-attackt dungeon dotards.  Welcome in to the Comedie Keep, saith the Guvner unto them; Feel free to be amused.)

            That young Varostril also made out against Hunger in his day, submitting him self unto its racks & ravages, and appearing to lie dead of it outsiden the bulging gubernatoriol granaries when that the Gubernor, or Guvner, come aguiding along the foreign lords & gazetteers.  Ach! saith the Guvnor, as if’n consernt; There lieth one of our famus Thin Monks of the Sacrimonius Order of Emaciates, Culte of the Skeletine—dead, it doth appear, despite the exhortasiens of my generous grainiers to sate here at the silo and have a life.  Well, these monks, mean they well, starving for the attentien that the gods do mean for men to have; but where be the brothers, now, to handol their mess?  [And grainiers he pronounc-ed grahn-yāz; and Emaciates he callen Ā-motzi-yah-deez.]

            And his name Varostril was sung by the hordes who despise their abusers; and the abusers, such as the Guvner, became afraid and given up, and fled to far bosoms.  But Varostril refuse-ed any seat of power.  But of his crewe some refuse-ed not power, but went and assumed it, saying, Well; abuse must to be kept in the right hands.

            And in that time, a boss new kit of views clickt in, wherein the old usual ways were strompt upon, and the new and unusuel were hoisted to heady heights.  And the Veteran was trounced, & the usual, & the establisht order.  But unto the unusuol and disorderd nonVeteran, such as Varostral, came heady heights, and the public adulatien of changelovers, and the steady consort of comforters and free pleasers of flesh & spirit.

            And herds of oldway scuptors were driven to nother lands to drip out their lifes in wretchedness, chisling vamphyre stobbs for sepulchergoers, and teethpicks for drudgy fishwifes, and stone boots to stabilise sentries electing to sleep on their feet.  Some sculpters ceast to sculpt atall and went to gutter.  And some sad few were driven into work and marriage; and these became the splitkind, once men but now with out a world.

            But see Varostril back at home:  he reapeth riches to the rafters for the mere mark of his name upon some sculpted physique or chiseld features.  And he loungeth upon the dais of celebritas before admiration’s throngs, making merry discussien with showmeisters and nurturing conceits, and fancying that the clamour hath more to do with transcendent qualities in his arte than with his exhilirating flushout polititic. 

            And the peopel said, We have seen that he hath convixien, by his populer messing in state affair.  Doth not it also reason that he shud likewise pour such convictien—the which wud be invisibol, of course—into his sculptings, imbuing them more vitally than do others who have messt in no state affair?  Let us pole & pummel those that truck in irksome logix, such as those

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who bandy the irksome logick that asketh, What hath any vigil for jilted jesters to do with the casting of a bust?  ’Tis an irk, sure, to hear this questien.

            So said his goode fellows, and cudgeld down the irkers; for Varostrul deserveth an entire comfort of name and uniform repute.  This man, said they, Sculpteth our lives and our sociedy.  He doth consern-ed molding and rendring of that of which the freshseekers have need, which is idols & effigies & limestone champions of destiny, & gods too small to pass judgment.  And those which passed judgment were seald in boxes and put away. 

w&sNEXTE

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Copyright 2007 wcsmith All Rights reserved

provincialthought home
*UR HERE > 1. The Sculptor in Notorius Profile: Days of Youth--pages 1-3
2. The Sculptor in Notorius Profile: Days of Season---pages 3-4
3. Bane of the Pottie---pages 4-5
4. The Right-Playd Bizniss Roareth Up from Scandol Like as the Challengd Lion-pages 5-7
5. He Sculpteth the Tragicol Figure Most Famed for Falling---pages 7-8
6. All the King's Horsemen Pitted Against Breakage's Chaoss---pages 8-9
7. Some Specifical Fates Reveald---pages 10-11
page 12
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