________________________________________________

Of Meissen Men, by Randa Gobbet (Deermouse Press, 2004).  The definitive tome on the wildly popular porcelain in a zillion cute models, from cupids to cuspidors.  Lists all potters’ marques, cabbalistic passwords and other shibboleths that may prove your funky finds are worth a rajah’s birthright—or not.

Candles and Their Makers, by F. Clarkson Shandworth (Drumwell & Gritch, 2001).  A vast pictorial array of candles, tapers, stumpies and other wicked flammables, showing secrets of manufacture handed down from medieval times by the Guild of Worshipful Wick-Dippers and other archaic organizations.  Tips on burning candles without incinerating yourself or leaving those big black smudges on walls and ceilings.

Balls! by Shinkle Hoomperdyke III (Klaxon Publishers, 1999).  An encyclopedia of games involving pitching, rolling, throwing, tossing, hurling or otherwise propelling balls made of wood, leather, metal, rubber, gutta-percha, papier-mache and many other substances.  Excludes marbles, lawn bowling and camogy.

Collecting Hockey Sticks for Fun & Profit, by Justin Othernutt (Browne & Greene, 2007).  A carefully organized compendium (with color photos) of implements made for ice hockey, 1778-2005.  Features exact measurements and cutaway drawings to aid the novice in stick-collecting and to separate crass counterfeits from the real things.  Copious index.

My Billion Bottlecaps, by Ira Z. Weiss (Flunderjub & Co., 2000).  Travails of a pioneering bottlecap collector who was ultimately outlawed by the American Cork, Crown & Seal Corp. and its squad of international enforcers.  Weiss writes vividly but modestly of his vast trove of things that sealed bottles and his high adventures in finding them everywhere from Tierra del Fuego to Mongolia.  Soon to be a major motion picture starring Kirk Douglas’s great-grandson.

Numismatics & Philately for Bozos, by Wallace M. Gurdleston (Bozology Press, 2003).  Primer in teeny words, crude stick-figure drawings and modest charts about collecting coins and stamps and explaining why anyone in his right mind would do such a thing.  Many b & w photos, a series of mini-bios of notorious coin and stamp maniacs and a large timeline depicting all coins and stamps available to the truly obsessed.  Part of the vast user-tested “For Bozos” library.

My Pony and What He Means, by Princess Emmaline Jones (Maudlin Pub., 1998).  A lurid exposé of the girlie toy phenomenon and its devastating impact on pre-nubile lassies around the world.  Compares the collecting trend to the holocaust of cocaine and heroin addiction in inner cities and advocates the total abolition of toys that require vast outlay of expenses and are based on phony sentiments.  Not for the squeamish.

She Smells Sea Shells, by Barbara Gump (St. Louis Todalo Books, 2005).  Handy pocket-sized guide to shells, flotsam, jetsam, debris and detritus found on beaches and useful for fabricating grotty decors for twee cafes and bars.  Numerous pix of olde anchors, huge glass net floats, broken oars, dessicated starfish, gnarly driftwood and other stuff shaped into decorations to be tied together with old, stinky fishnet.  Recipient of the three-gold-star Hump Your House Award for 2006.

Vinylmania! by Elsworth Flingle (Halcyon Orgone Press, 1998).  A strict Bulgarian-trained deconstructionist looks at collecting 33 1/3 rpm. (LP) records and decides against it, turning instead to an obsessively-detailed and wholly obtuse discussion of urine imagery in Proust, Dorothy Richardson and Agatha Christy.  At 779 pages and 11 pounds, only useful as a handy paperweight or as a press for drying leaves and flowers.

jptArchive Issue 5

Copyright 2008- WJ Schafer & WC Smith - All Rights Reserved

The Journal of Provincial Thought

luminance

jptArchive Issue 5

contributor profile