Feel free to cut and paste if you should be writing a potboiling detective screed.
“She smiled cryptically, like a nubile young lassie with brand-new breasts, who realizes she’s been dealt a solid pair.”
“As smarmy as a Philadelphia lawyer about to appropriate a widow’s mite.”
“A strained soprano voice like an agitated butcher feeding birdshot through his mincer.”
“He felt like the lowest man on a totem pole mistakenly sited on a patch of quicksand.”
“He scrabbled for the dum-dum bullets like a blind man making change on Saturday night in a two-dollar whorehouse.”
“It was as cold as the frost on __________’s [insert appropriate name: Dick Cheney? Donald Rumsfeld?] official smile.”
“The Chinaman emitted an evil chuckle, like a dull cleaver hacking through old leather.”
Inutility
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