Forthcoming articles in jpt. Watch upcoming issues for these important works, God willing.
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“The Iron Pyramid and the Ecchoing Green: Patterns of Cannonball Stacking on Selected Southeastern Illinois Courthouse Lawns.” Charles D. Slurrup, M.A. General Beedle State Teacher’s College, Wurtshappel, N.D. An exciting foray into statistical extrapolation, illustrated by Polaroid photos from the author!
“Has Anybody Seen My Phagocyte?” Woodrow Tobias, Sr. East Virginia Polygraphic Institute, Frostbite, W.Va. Lots of blurry microscope slides, two pie charts, one table, bib.
“Gentlemen Prefer Bonds.” Tecumseh Ananias, Ed. D. Windhover University, Dimple, Idaho. Seven sound reasons for keeping your spare cash in an old sock.
“Since When Does Ontology Recapitulate Philology?” Dempster Dumster. Siwash State University, Other Elbow, Ind. Some profound misunderstandings of early nineteenth-century latitudinarian thought.
“A Recent Holographic Discovery—Debussy’s La Merde.” Fortescue H. Humbert, M. Mus. U.S. Navel Academy, Monopolis, Md. Indisputable evidence of the French impressionist composer’s ultimate mental collapse.
“Deconstructing Jerusalem: Whose Feet Walked Where?” Barb B. Dahl, Ph.B. Impetigo College of Telemetry, Whoosie, Ill. A massive insult to the brain.
“I Rode with Custer—Lying in Autobiography.” Herpes N. Drome. University of Luna Park, Adawhumpus, Cal. Helpful hints on detecting plagiarism in remedial English courses.
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